Category Archives: Cookies/Cakes/Pies/Desserts

Kuhlich (German Yeast Cakes)

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Cooking time: 40 mins.
Preparation time: 30 mins. plus time for rising
Main cooking utensils: stone jars, or coffee cans
Oven temperature: 400-425°F

For 12-16 people you need:

1 teaspoon sugar
1 cup plus 3 tablespoons milk and water mixed
1 oz. compressed yeast
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup currants
1/2 cup chopped, blanched almonds
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup oil or melted butter
2 eggs

Decoration:

1 1/2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
little warm water
few candied cherries and slivered almonds

1. Blend compressed yeast with sugar and add liquid.

2. Leave until frothy, about 10 minutes.

3. Mix flour, salt, sugar, currants, and almonds.

4. Pour in yeast liquid, vanilla extract, oil and eggs.

5. Mix well together until dough leaves sides of the bowel (SIC) clean.

6. Knead for 5 minutes on floured board.

7. Cover, then put to rise until nearly double in size – about 2 hours – knead again.

8. Shape dough to half fill greased pans.

9. Cover each pan with polythene or cloth; allow to rise for 40 to 60 minutes. i.e. until dough springs back when pressed.

10. Bake in center of oven until firm. Cool.

11. Blend confectioners’ sugar with enough warm water to blend and pour over cakes; sprinkle with chopped candied cherries and slivered almonds.

TO VARY: Rise and bake for only 15-20 minutes in muffin pans to make small individual cakes.

Printed in Canada. © Copyright Paul Hamlyn Ltd. 1967

Chocolate Macaroons

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1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
3 squares unsweetened chocolate
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cans (4-oz size) shredded coconut
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Generously grease large cookie sheet.

2. In top of double boiler, combine condensed milk, chocolate, and salt; cook over boiling water, stirring frequently, until chocolate melts and mixture thickens. Remove from heat.

3. Add coconut and vanilla; mix well. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls, 1 inch apart, on prepared cookie sheet.

4. Bake 10 to 12 minutes, or just until cookies are set. Transfer at once to wire rack, to cool.

Makes 2 dozen.

COCONUT MACAROONS

1 1/2 cups shredded coconut
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk
Dash salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon almond extract

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Generously grease large cookie sheet.

2. Combine all ingredients; mix well.

3. Drop by teaspoonfuls, 1 inch apart, on prepared cookies sheet, pressing down ends of coconut with back of spoon.

4. Bake 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool 5 minutes before removing from cookie sheet.

Makes 1 1/2 dozen.

© Copyright 1973 by The McCall Publishing Co. All rights reserved. Printed in U.S.A.

Peanut Crisps

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Preparation time: 15 min.
Baking time: 10 min.
Oven temperature: 375°

Popular with both children and adults, these crisp drop cookies are simple to make and delicious.

For 3 dozen cookies you will need:

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 cup coarsely-chopped salted nuts
Granulated sugar

Preparation:

1. Cream together until light, the butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla.

2. Mix the flour and soda. Add to creamed mixture. Stir until well blended.

3. Stir in peanuts.

4. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.

5. Grease bottom of tumbler, dip in granulated sugar and use to flatten cookies.

6. Bake at 375°F for 10 minutes or until golden brown.

7. Remove at once to wire racks to cool. Store airtight or freeze.

©MCMLXXXV My Great Recipes. All Rights Reserved. Printed in Holland.

That One Time I Fed Crazy Neighbor Dude Cat Food (Pieathalon 2019)

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Every year I enter into Yinzerella’s (Dinner is Served 1972) pie contest. I start off really enthused for this project. I like pie. I also like submitting something quasi-fucked up for someone else to have to make. I love to submit stuff from Weight Watchers, because, well, they are invariably nasty. Like this year I offered up cherry pies that are made from cherries, gelatin, bread crumbs, and the tears of out of work carnies. Usually, in return, I get something edible. The other participants aren’t quite as evil mischevious as I am. Until now. Apparently, Kelly at Velveteen Lounge has decided it’s time I get my comeuppance. This year, I get to make a cat food pie. Thanks, Kelly.

Salmon CUSTARD Pie. Just let that sink in for a moment. I’ll wait.

Now, I’m not a fish girl. Well, lemme clarify that. I like the occasional fish stick or tuna sandwich, but other than that I have no interest in it. Let’s be honest, it smells funky. Ever had someone in your office heat up their fish lunch and thought about all the ways you could disembowel them? So, suffice to say, there’s no way in hell I would be taste testing this dish. So, who you gonna call? Crazy Neighbor Dude that’s who. He’s like Mikey. He’ll eat anything I offer him. Including baked cat food it would appear.

So, this nightmare starts with salmon. Correction, CANNED salmon. Because, of course, it does. Have you ever opened a can of salmon?

It’s slimy. It’s got all kinds of manky skin bits. And bones. Fucking bones. Why can’t they take those out? Whatever happened to work ethic? Would it be so hard to go the extra mile not to make me dig my fingers in nasty slimy fishy bits?

The green onions are about the only part of this recipe that doesn’t make me want to gag, and the smell of them cooking in butter does what it can to mitigate the stench of the canned salmon. Well, that and copious amounts of Lysol, bless its chemical-laden heart.

Toss all the ingredients together in a bowl. We’re all agreed that this looks like vomit. And it’s probably triggering your gag reflex as much as mine. Good times. Thanks, Kelly.

Toss into pie crust, bake. And text Crazy Neighbor Dude to come fetch.

His first question was “So, it’s like salmon, eggs and green stuff?” Nailed it in one Crazy Neighbor Dude!

So, I sent him on his merry way with his pie and went back to drinking and periodically spraying Lysol every time I got a whiff of fish. Then, my phone starts buzzing.

It’s entirely possible that I’m going to have to move. Thanks, Kelly.

Salmon Custard Pie Recipe is from the Farm Journal’s Complete Pie Cookbook Circa 1965

Pieathalon 2019 Participants
The Homicidal Homemaker
The Nostalgic Cook
Velveteen Lounge Kitsch-en
Vincent Price Legacy UK
Grannie Pantries
A Book of Cookrye
Retro Food for Modern Times
Dinner is Served 1972
Kitchen Confidence
Doctor Bobb’s Kitschen
Culinary Adventures with Camilla
Recipes 4 Rebels
Silver Screen Suppers

Cherry Pies

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1 cup frozen unsweetened cherries or (30 small fresh pitted cherries)
1/2 cup cold water
Artificial sweetener to equal 4 teaspoons sugar, or to taste
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
Dash of cinnamon
2 slices enriched white bread, crumbed
2 tablespoons imitation (or diet) margarine

Combine cherries, cold water, sweetener, gelatin, and cinnamon in a small saucepan. Stir over low heat until gelatin is dissolved. Reserve one-fourth of the bread crumbs. Divide remainder in half and press against bottom and sides of 2 individual pie dishes. Divide cherries evenly into dishes, and sprinkle each portion with equal amounts of remaining crumbs. Bake at 350° (moderate oven) for 10 minutes or until topping browns. Dot each pie with 1 tablespoon imitation margarine, and bake 1 minute longer. Makes 2 servings.

Copyright © Weight Watchers International, Inc. 1974. All rights reserved. Printed in U.S.A.

Celebration Cakes

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EASTER CAKE

Grease and flour 2 round layer pans, 9 x 1 1/2 inches
Bake as directed on package…… 1 package of our lemon cake mix
Prepare as directed on package….1 package of our lemon fluff frosting mix

Cook cake layers completely, fill and frost them.
Shake in tightly covered jar….. about 3/4 cup flaked coconut, few drops green food color

Sprinkle coconut on top of cake to make a grass nest. Fill nest with candy Easter eggs and jelly beans.

HEART CAKE

Grease and flour 1 square pan, 8x8x2 inches, and 1 round layer pan, 8×1 1/2 inches.

Prepare as directed on package…. 1 package of our white cake mix

Divide the batter between the square and round pans. Bake square pan 25 to 30 minutes, round pan 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool.

Place square layer on tray. Cut round layer in half. Place cut edge of each half against the top sides of the square to make a heart shape. Frost with your favorite frosting and decorate with red cinnamon hearts.

© Copyright 1971 by General Mills, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in U.S.A.

Chocolate “Brownie” Dessert

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2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
3/4 cup boiling water
1 1/3 cups nonfat dry milk
Artificial sweetener to equal 1 cup sugar, or to taste
2 tablespoons chocolate extract
Red and green food coloring

Sprinkle gelatin over cold water in blender container to soften. Add boiling water; process at medium speed until gelatin is dissolved. Add remaining ingredients, except food coloring; process at high speed to blend. Pour into an 8x8x2-inch square pan. Chill, uncovered until firmly set. Divide evenly into squares. Makes 4 servings.

“COCONUT” MACAROONS
1 1/2 cups non-fat dry milk
2 medium apples, peeled, cored and grated
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar replacement
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon coconut extract

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl; mix thoroughly. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto a non-stick cookie sheet. Bake at 350°F (moderate oven) for 18 minutes. Store in a tightly covered container. Divide evenly. Makes 4 servings; about 2 dozen cookies.

Copyright © Weight Watchers International, Inc. 1974. All rights reserved. Printed in U.S.A.

Santa Sand Tarts

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4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
Red, white Confectioners’ Icing, recipe at right
Red cinnamon candies
Shredded coconut
Green sugar

Sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Cream butter; slowly add and beat in sugar and continue beating until well blended. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition; blend in vanilla. Add sifted dry ingredients gradually; blend well. Cover bowl; chill dough several hours or until firm enough to roll.

Set oven for moderate, 350°. Grease cooky sheets. On a lightly floured board, roll out chilled dough, 1/4 inch thick. Cut with floured Santa Claus cooky cutter; place on cooky sheets. Bake 8 to 10 minutes, or until cookies are golden. Run spatula under cookies to remove from sheets. Cool on wire racks. Decorate as shown with icing, candies, coconut and sugar. Makes about 4 dozen.

CONFECTIONERS’ ICING

Measure 1 cup sifted confectioners’ sugar into a bowl. Stir in just enough water, about 1 tablespoon, to make frosting easy to force through a decorating tube. Or add a little more water if it is to be brushed on cookies or used for making lines with a toothpick. Tint, if desired, with a few drops of red or green food coloring; blend well. Or leave white. Makes about 1/2 cup.

Published by –COOKINDEX– Division of H.S. Stuttman Co., Inc., New York © Copyright 1958 Tested Recipe Institute, Inc., New York

Peanut Candy Trio

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NUT BRITTLE

2 cups sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups raw shelled peanuts (16 ounces) or other coarsely chopped nuts
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

Butter sides of heavy 3-quart saucepan. In it stir together sugar, corn syrup, water, butter, and salt. Bring to boiling, stirring to dissolve sugar. Cook with gentle boil over entire surface over medium heat till 275°F. on candy thermometer and syrup begins to turn a golden color; stir occasionally. Add nuts and continue cooking, stirring often, till 295°F. on candy thermometer and syrup is a clear golden color. Remove from heat. Quickly stir in baking soda. Immediately pour hot mixture into two buttered 15x10x1-inch pans. If desired, pull with forks to stretch thin. Cool. Break into pieces. Make about 2 1/4 pounds candy.

PEANUT TOFFEE
Shape a pan from a 12×10-inch sheet of foil by turning up edges to form a rectangle about 10×8 inches. Sprinkle 1/2 cup finely chopped peanuts in pan; set aside. In 1 1/2-quart saucepan melt 1/2 cup butter or margarine over medium-high heat. Immediately begin to stir in 1 cup sugar gradually with long-handled wooden spoon (should take 45 to 60 seconds). Continue to cook over medium-high heat about 6 to 7 minutes till mixture turns golden brown, stirring only enough to prevent burning. (Once the syrup mixture starts to brown the color changes very rapidly.) Pour over nuts in prepared pan. Cool; break into pieces. Makes 3/4 pound candy.

©Meredith Corporation, MCMLXXIX. All Rights Reserved. Printed in U.S.A.

Chewy Noels

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2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup chopped nuts
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 beaten eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Powdered sugar

in 9x9x2-inch baking pan melt butter or margarine. Stir together brown sugar, nuts, flour, soda, and salt; stir in eggs and vanilla. Carefully pour over butter in pan; do not stir. Bake in 350° oven for 20 to 25 minutes. Sift powdered sugar over top. Place waxed paper under wire rack; immediately invert pan onto rack. Cool. Dust again with powdered sugar. Cut into bars. Write “Noel” on each bar using green decorator icing, if desired. Makes 2 dozen bars.

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE BARS

1/2 of a 14-ounce can (2/3 cup) sweetened condensed milk
1 6-ounce package (1 cup) semisweet chocolate pieces
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 roll refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough

In small saucepan over low heat stir together sweetened condensed milk, chocolate pieces, and salt till smooth. Remove from heat; add vanilla. Pat two-thirds of the cookie dough over the bottom of an ungreased 9x9x2-inch baking pan. Spread chocolate mixture over dough. Dot with remaining cookie dough. Bake in 350° oven for 30 to 35 minutes. Makes 2 1/2 dozen bars.

©Meredith Corporation, MCMLXXIX. All Rights Reserved. Printed in U.S.A.